Maybe In The Morning

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Maybe in the morning things will look different.
Maybe in the morning I will be worth something.
Maybe in the morning I won’t be sat on the bathroom floor with tear stained tracks down my cheeks.
Maybe in the morning someone will listen to me.
Maybe in the morning I can finally succeed.
Maybe in the morning I won’t be that useless piece of rubbish, kicked from curb to curb, worth less than the dirt on your shoe.
Maybe in the morning I won’t feel like it’s all ending, the walls aren’t crashing down around me. Drowning me. Smothering me.
Maybe I can finally breathe.

Maybe. Just maybe.

But maybe that’s just too much to ask for?
Maybe I am only worth a little.
Maybe I’ll never be good enough.

Do you think I could be good enough?
Can you save me?
Save me from myself?

I'm fighting for us.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

I want us.

I want you and me and I want forever. I want to be able to kiss you whenever I want. I want to walk down the street holding your hand because you’re mine. I want to sweep the stray strands of hair out of your face when you’re concentrating.

I want you. I want all of you.

I want you when you’re angry and you’d rather push me off a cliff than push me into bed. I want you when you’re sad and you need a hug and a hot chocolate. I want you at your worst when you let me hold you all night long because you can’t stop crying.

I don’t care how much baggage or how much shit you throw my way. I want you and me and I want forever.

You won’t drive me away. You can't. I’m fighting for you. I’m fighting for us.

Can you hear me?

Writing Prompt: Lost
Lost. Broken. Help. Someone.

I can’t think. Breathe. The pressure halts me, roots me to the spot as I watch the world trail by. I reach out but there’s no one in a sea of bodies. I’m floundering. There’s nothing to ground me but my feet are like bricks to the ground. I jitter and shake. A mess. I’m a mess. Can you hear me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Can you hear me? Please. He just keeps walking. No one stops. No one spares a glance. I try to move but I’m stuck. Frozen in place. Trapped within my own sick mind. I want to get out. Will no one listen to my pleas? Help me.


Top Ten Tuesday

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Top Ten Popular Authors I've Never Read
A weekly meme from 
The Broke and the Bookish

These authors are going to be from a range of different genres because I absolutely loathe the idea of constantly reading one genre. It's reductive, repetitive and mundane.

1. Michael Connelly
I have every single one of his books on my iPad I just need to find time to read them.

2. Maggie Stiefvater
I literally have zero interest to read any of her novels

3. John Grisham
King of the courtroom! Must, must, MUST get round to reading his books. The Racketeer is sitting on my shelf impatient with the desire to be opened.

4. Neil Gaiman
My signed copy of American Gods is taunting me.

5. Fyoder Dostoyevsky
Everyone should read Russian literature at least once in their lifetime. The Brothers Karamozov has been on my to-read list for far too long (along with a few other of his titles).

6. J. R. Ward
Need to get round to reading The Black Dagger Brotherhood series at some point.

7. Ian Fleming
I really, really, really need to read the Bond books. I feel disgusted with myself that I haven't already.

8. Hugh Laurie
Hugh Laurie... the actor? The very same. I've had a copy of The Gun Seller for 3/4 years and it needs to be read.

9. Michael Grant
Do I even want to read the Gone series? I don't know. Probably not. We'll see.

10. Stephen King
The fact that I've only read one measley short story of his and none of his novels is quite disgraceful in my opinion. 11.23.63 is one novel in particular that I need to read as well as Mr. Mercedes when that comes out later this year.

Two shots. Bang Bang.

Thursday, 13 February 2014

Writing Prompt: Turns out, the prop gun was real.

She grabbed the gun, her hands trembling around the hilt as she pointed it at the man standing before her. Anger licking through her veins, pressing her into action, shutting away the sliver of opportunity to turn around, to walk away, forget it ever happened; he ever existed. But she was here now and she had a gun. And he was right there. He was right there denying everything. He never dropped his pants for that slut, her supposed best friend. She was mistaken; caught up in a moment of jealousy getting the wrong end of the stick.

But she was not wrong.

‘Lucy, babe,’ he said raising his arms in the air, palms forward. ‘Put down the gun.’

‘Don’t you dare “babe” me! Tell me why you did it. Tell me why you’d betray us like that… for her.’

‘Look, I don’t know what you expect me to say, Lucy, but nothing happened.’

A scream of rage tore through her throat spurring her into action, her finger closing on the trigger. Two shots. Bang bang.

He staggered backwards, a look of shock spreading across his eagle features. She wasn’t supposed to shoot. His small fingers rose to his chest, a glint of white against a backdrop of flaming red. The man fell to his knees, a gargled noise breezing past his lips. What had she done?

‘Oh my god, oh my god,’ Lucy screamed, the gun falling with a clatter to the floor. ‘I shot him. I shot him.’

Her knees thudded against the hard wood, the impact sending a wave of pain though her joints. It steadied her; grounded her into reality, into the lifeless body of the man before her. Her sweaty fingers sought out his neck, searching in vain for a pulse. Nothing.

She looked up and into the eyes of the growing crowd until she found the ones she had been looking for, the emerald green orbs behind the thick black rims.

‘You said it was safe. You said everything on the set was a prop! He’s not breathing…’

Top Ten Tuesday

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

(This is a weekly meme by The Broke and the Bookish)

Top Ten books to make you swoon
A weekly meme from 
The Broke and the Bookish

1. In Death series: Roarke and Dallas and a chemistry that can set a bed ablaze.
2. Heat Wave: Based on Richard Castle and Katherine Beckett from ABC's show Castle... you couldn't ask for more.
3. Pride and Prejudice: Mr. Darcy. Need I say more?
4. Vampire Academy: Forbidden Romance. One hot badass Russian. Enough said.
5. Night Shield: Fletcher and Boyd. The pair that should have avoided each other but work perfectly together.

6. Rebecca: Very haunting. Very beautiful.
7. Persuasion: It's Austen!! You don't need a reason.
8. The Bone Season: Danger, secrecy and a spot of charm.
9. The Fault in our Stars: It will rip your heart out.
10. Divergent: When Tobias isn't being an idiot, you'll love him!

Incomplete: Hansel and Gretel

Thursday, 16 January 2014

A partial Hansel and Gretel rewrite aimed at young adults
It had been a year. A year since their mother had died and their father had wasted no time in shacking up with his mistress. Three months was all it took for him to overcome his grief and ask the bitch to move in. Disgust and anger didn't even begin to cover what they had felt when she barged into their home, suitcases in tow, barking out orders. Their wedding was in three days and everything was falling to shit. It was three in the god damn morning and they were expected to go and collect her wedding flowers because she couldn't possibly leave the house in the middle of the night with all the big bad things that go bump in the night.

Gretel’s skeletal fingers tapped repetitively against the dashboard, her gaze fixated on nothing because there was nothing.

A/N: This could be continued. Possibly.

Top Ten Tuesday

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Top Ten Five 2014 Debuts I'm excited for
A weekly meme from 
The Broke and the Bookish

The Murder Complex by Lindsay Cummings
An action-packed, blood-soaked, futuristic debut thriller set in a world where the murder rate is higher than the birthrate. For fans of Moira Young’s Dust Lands series, La Femme Nikita, and the movie Hanna.

Meadow Woodson, a fifteen-year-old girl who has been trained by her father to fight, to kill, and to survive in any situation, lives with her family on a houseboat in Florida. The state is controlled by The Murder Complex, an organization that tracks the population with precision.

The plot starts to thicken when Meadow meets Zephyr James, who is—although he doesn’t know it—one of the MC’s programmed assassins. Is their meeting a coincidence? Destiny? Or part of a terrifying strategy? And will Zephyr keep Meadow from discovering the haunting truth about her family?

Salvage by Alexandra Duncan
Her life is a shadow of a life. Her future is not her own to fashion. Her family is a tangle of secrets. She cannot read. She cannot write. But she is Parastrata Ava, the Captain's eldest daughter, the so girl of a long-range crewe—her obligations are grave and many.

And when she makes a mistake, in a fragrant orchard of lemons, the consequences are deadly.

There are some who would say, there but for the Mercies go I. There are some who would say Parastrata Ava is just a silly earthstruck girl who got what was coming to her.

But they don't know the half of it.

Nil by Lynne Matson
On the mysterious island of Nil, the rules are set. You have one year. Exactly 365 days--to escape, or you die.

Seventeen-year-old Charley doesn’t know the rules. She doesn’t even know where she is. The last thing she remembers is blacking out, and when she wakes up, she’s lying naked in an empty rock field.

Lost and alone, Charley finds no sign of other people until she meets Thad, the gorgeous leader of a clan of teenage refugees. Soon Charley learns that leaving the island is harder than she thought . . . and so is falling in love. With Thad’s time running out, Charley realizes that to save their future, Charley must first save him. And on an island rife with dangers, their greatest threat is time.

Dark Days by Kate Ormand
The future world has been divided into sectors--each the same as the other. Surrounded by thick steel fences, there is no way in and no way out. Yet a cyborg army penetrates each sector, picking off its citizens one by one, until no one is left. Behind the sectors' thick walls, the citizens wait to die. Few will be chosen to survive what's coming; the rest will be left behind to suffer. A new world has been created, and its rulers are incredibly selective on who will become a citizen. They want only those with important roles in society to help create a more perfect future.

Sixteen-year-old Sia lives in one of the sectors as part of a family that is far too ordinary to be picked to live. According to the digital clock that towers high above her sector, she has only fifteen days to live. Sia has seen the reports and knows a horrific death is in store for her, but she is determined to make the most of her final days. Sia refuses to mourn her short life, instead promising herself that she'll stay strong, despite being suffocated by her depressed mother and her frightened best friend. Just when Sia feels more alone than ever, she meets Mace, a mysterious boy. There is something that draws Sia to him, despite his dangerousness, and together, they join a group of rebels and embark on an epic journey to destroy the new world and its machines, and to put an end to the slaughter of innocent people.

Dear Killer by Katherine Ewell Rule One—Nothing is right, nothing is wrong.
Rule Two—Be careful.
Rule Three—Fight using your legs whenever possible, because they’re the strongest part of your body. Your arms are the weakest.
Rule Four—Hit to kill. The first blow should be the last, if at all possible.
Rule Five—The letters are the law.

Kit takes her role as London’s notorious “Perfect Killer” seriously. The letters and cash that come to her via a secret mailbox are not a game; choosing who to kill is not an impulse decision. Every letter she receives begins with “Dear Killer,” and every time Kit murders, she leaves a letter with the dead body. Her moral nihilism and thus her murders are a way of life—the only way of life she has ever known.

But when a letter appears in the mailbox that will have the power to topple Kit’s convictions as perfectly as she commits her murders, she must make a decision: follow the only rules she has ever known, or challenge Rule One, and go from there.

Katherine Ewell’s Dear Killer is a sinister psychological thriller that explores the thin line between good and evil, and the messiness of that inevitable moment when life contradicts everything you believe.

Writing Prompt: ‘Please, I can’t die like this.’

Saturday, 11 January 2014

‘Please, I can’t die like this,’ she muttered again and again; her large body shaking under the weight of her fear. She had never meant it. It had been a stupid mistake, an idiotic decision. But this was a scene out of a horror film. Lain out like a star on the ground, iron manacles attached to her ankles and wrists, pulling her limbs further and further apart with each hour that passed.

No one knew that she was here. No one. She had few friends, never even been in love. If she died today she’d have never experienced love. What sort of pathetic life was this? Never felt the touch of a man, the feel of his lips working against her own; only ever having the pity of drifting souls on the internet for company. Death would surely be a welcoming change? An end to this pathetic existence. But she didn’t want to die. Not yet. Not like this.

She screamed, high and shrill, pain bursting through her body like a shotgun; the metallic blade piercing the skin of her thighs again and again. This was a game and this was only the beginning.

She had stolen an opportunity and was going to die because of it. In the most painful way humanly possible.

aspiring author attempting world domination with a bit o' magic and some kickass moves.